Indefinitely (#5)

It's awesome to get a song recorded :)
Going to vietnam tomorrow, can't believe I'll be gone for 8 days, miss me!

So pretty so pretty so pretty, I love my window and beyond (x1000)

Cg retreat was awesome and probably the best we'd ever had. Went to east coast and cycled, for around 2 hours? Then we went to the beach and everyone got totally soaked cept sara. (hrmph) I WAS PLANNING NOT TO GET WET IN THE FIRST PLAAACEE, but we wanted to take a photo standing in the water and before we knew it, we got thrown in. Oh well. Took loads and loads of pictures, then later the rest played dog and bone & touch rugby on the beach, awesome :)

Was planning to set off for jolene's house at around 5, then the guys took so lonnggggg to wash up (like what were they doing, putting make-up or smth?) so we ended up finally reaching at around 7 plus i think. Bbqed and it was so hot and smoky it felt like we were being grilled in the faces. Stank after that (sea water + sand + bbq smell + sweat) ugh yuck. Went to go watch So You Think You Can Dance, and kinda jammed with guitars and piano. The dancers on the show are just... crazy fantastic. How on earth do you.... manipulate yourself like that. (?!?!?!)

Later at night we played Wii until 1:40am like that (crazy people spasming and screaming and sweating at midnight for the sake of winning on Raving Rabbids) and slapping the Wii mat using our hands for DDR and laughing like mad... fun, fun. I don't know what we did till 2am plus but the rest were still talking and laughing when I fell asleep. People have weird sleeping positions at night and someone kept snoring, and it was so cold i was practically shaking (with a jacket and a sleeping bag) then I spammed the temperature up to 30 deg and it wasn't so bad.

Woke up at around... 9? Then everybody headed upstairs after stoning for 2 and a half hours in the basement and then went upstairs to stone somemore. Left soon after that.

BUT IT WAS GR8, i'm looking forward to more cg outings again.

Whooooh cg 3&4!

Nobody really appreciates the sunrise at that hour because they're probably all sleeping.
Anw I woke up (on sunday I think) really early and saw this spectacular view from my window.
So prettttty

Today I have realised a certain number of things.

1) It is freakingcrazywhatahelllotofcrap!@#$%extremely difficult to be a good harpist. Performing harp is the most difficult thing ever known to me as of today, sigh. During a performance we have to make sure:

i) Right notes are played (This is difficult because the strings are all next to each other, wth. A single wrong note will kill the whole piece)
ii) Fingers do not slip and thus result in i) (Near to impossible, because hands will either be frozen/sweaty)
iii) Right pedals are stepped on (Very hard, considering you are wearing shoes = 0% ability to feel with soles)
iv) Memory does not lapse (It happens and then you forget what on earth you were playing in the first place)
v) Fear does not kill you first (I still get stage fright after the 6th 7th 8th time, like wth do you do when you have a crowd of eyes staring at you)
vi) Nice sound is created (If you grab onto strings too tightly, too lightly, too unsecurely, or all of the above, catastrophe occurs)
vii) Don't buzz, don't pluck a note you're already holding on to, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING UNNECESSARY OMG
viii) Expression (Or else you'll just look dead, not very engaging at all.)
ix) Smile( Which is very hard to do in this demanding scenario as you can see)
x) Basically, don't screw up. (Which is extremely impossible not to do)

So the supposedly calm aura around a performing harpist is just a temporary mask hiding the most intense pressure in the world.
Haiyaaaa i still have a long way to go, daym.
Shit I hope i don't screw up on the 9th

All I really want, is for someone to listen to me, sincerely listen, not to judge me, not to condemn me, not to turn away after all that's been said and pretend that their impression of me hasn't changed. To be there despite all my flaws and imperfections (who ever said anyone was perfect anyway, we all have our weak points). Isn't that what everyone wants in a friend.

I thank those that've been there.

I've been getting tired so easily these days; maybe it's got something to do with being mentally/emotionally drained. It happens when you think/dream/remember/fantasize too much. I don't know, for me, the fine line of grey between right and wrong seems to have expanded itself, so much so I don't know whether it's just my conscience screwing with me or things are just..... changing. Because after I break everything down to its bare minimum, I find that nothing is clearly defined in black and white anymore, and what's wrong to you may be acceptable to others. You can tell the whole world about your problems, but clearly, no one will understand yourself as best as you do, or listen to you without slapping a label of "INADEQUATE" across your forehead. I guess no one's ever satisfied with anything at all.

And I've learnt not to judge anyone because I probably wouldn't understand their issues in its entirety.

I think the saddest thing I've ever heard was "till death do us part" and "when we come to the end of this journey". It sucks to think that there'll be an end to this road, where we leave everyone on earth and just simply vanish. Idk i've been talking so much more about religion nowadays and i probably think I can imagine how my perspective on things would be if I weren't a christian. I hate it when I have to make tough decisions because how on earth am I supposed to know which is the better one?!

I don't know. I'm merely human and miserable and small and pathetic and my mind is too underdeveloped to comprehend such great things.

Ah, see this is what happens when I think too much seh.

Hahah, this is so funny.

I love fishforpeople.net

Went out to watch 2012 today with doobs and jiahui,

At first I couldn't make it out of my house because as soon as I left the door rain came pounding down like some torrential hurricane (yeah perfect time), not to mention completely not being able to cross an unsheltered path that spanned 200m without feeling like I was about to come face to face with the apocalypse of some sorts. Like wth do you do when you need to go out and the storm's so heavy you can't see a single thing outside your window! Yea so anyway in the end the rain kinda lessened a bit and I managed to get there.

2012 was quite cool, but the entire predicament seemed so desolate and it was dragggingggg on and on (2.5 hours) so much so i wanted to shout "OK ENUF JUST DIE ALREADY". But the visual effects... not bad lah. Quite cool and it's quite anti-climatically funny in the middle.

(Everyone is panicking because the airplane's gonna crash and the car won't start when the ignition was turned on)
Man: (Screams) Shut up!
(Silence)
Man: (Composedly) Engine, on.
(Car beeps on)

Omg the entire cinema burst out into hysteria. Okay okay not funny you must have seen it to agree with me.

But the story's kinda like Noah's Ark, like they stayed in the ships for 27 days till the storm was over.
Very nice overall, worth it:D

Oh and today I watched a show about a man who got bitten by crocodiles so he dislocated his ball-and-socket of his shoulder, broke his arm at three places, and had crocodile toxins entering his arm through the bite wound. Then to top it off, giant ants started tearing off his raw flesh (aka eating him alive). Ugh the kind of shows that make you want to curl up in disgust and check for giant ants on your arm just in case.

I like it when night comes.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


I finished my song already,
Now all i need is: my voice back/a guitar
Wheee!

This song's so beautiful.
Now this's the standard i should be reaching >:/

Scars (Stronger for life)
Corrinne May

I just want to run
Just want to hide away
Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave
Don't want to hear them say
"You're no good at this"

When the world swirls with naysayers
Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead
Drowning in my tears

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Losing myself
Gaining it back again
Forging strength from weakness
All that I am
All that I'm meant to be
Melting in your hand

Let the world swirl with naysayers
Pickled hearts and sour faces
What is real is what I cannot see

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me